The Couple’s Connection Challenge
Thank you for agreeing to be one of the pioneers in the Couple’s Connection Challenge. You have been carefully selected as people who are supportive but unafraid to provide feedback to help us craft a challenge that will help millions of people around the world. We also have a deep respect for who you are and your accomplishments. Our hope is that you will be able to provide testimonials about the impact of the challenge in your lives and we will create a short survey to help you measure its effectiveness.
About The Challenge
The Couple’s Connection Challenge or “CCC” is specifically designed to help people connect in a meaningful way in spite of the often unreasonable demands on our time. It is a game you will play for 30 days that will help you feel more connected with your partner. That being said, this challenge is not about fireworks. Doing these behaviours is more like putting a bit of cash away each day and less like winning the lottery. They both ensure success but one is more exciting. In a relationship, research shows that couples who make regular deposits, are much more likely to have a lasting relationship than those who try and win the lottery with vacations and grand gestures. (Those are great too).
The Challenge Origins
The “CCC” is born from years of research in 2 areas:
- Behaviour Modification
- Successful Relationships
Each element of the CCC has been Triple S Tested. We believe personally in each element (Self) There is strong social proof that each element contributes to success (Social) and there is reputable research supporting the inclusion of each element (Science).
We are just in the starting process of developing our Mobile APP and Website, and your feedback will go a long way to help us create an amazing user experience that will make taking the challenge even easier and more fun. That being said, we don’t yet have that in place, and so you will be doing a very simple, non beautiful version of the challenge.
How to Participate in the Challenge.
- You and your partner commit to doing 5 easy behaviours each day. (these behaviours are explained in detail below)
- Before you start the challenge, plan when you will do the behaviours and add them to your calendar.
- You keep score daily.
- Each time you keep score you earn points. (The amount of points you earn each day is variable from 1 to 30. The more points you get, the more cool stuff you get access to. (see chart below)
- Keeping score every day for one week qualifies you for a weekly prize and adds one entry into the grand prize.
- If you keep score everyday of the challenge you double your number of entries to win the grand prize.
- Make a list of some behaviours you do every day
- i.e. get out of bed, brush teeth, get into car, sit down at desk, park my car at work. Sit down on the bus.
- Figure out the best time to do the new behaviour
- Make a declaration: After I… I will… i.e. After I sit down to eat lunch, I will text my partner something I am grateful for
- Put it in your calendar
Keeping Score/Tracking Progress
Simply replying to the email reminders, and answering the 5 yes or no questions, and then answering the reflection question gets you full points, regardless if you have done the behaviours or not. Each day of the challenge you will receive 2 reminders via email. One at 6PM and the other at 10PM. Simply reply to either reminder, answer the questions and you’re done!
- Did you share gratitude? Y or N
- Did you share something good about your day? Y or N
- Did you hug? Y or N
- Did you give all your attention? Y or N
- Did you Acknowledge and Appreciate? Y or N
- Quick Reflection – What do you think you need to do tomorrow to become, stay or get more connected? (as little as a few words or as much as you want).
You get points for keeping score (i.e. replying to the email and answering the questions) whether you did the behaviours or not!!!
Earn Points to Get Cool Stuff
Each time you report you earn points which you can use to get stuff. How much you earn is variable and arbitrary. You can use your points to get cool stuff. There are a total of 200 points available on the challenge. To learn what you can get, please refer to the points chart on Page 4. The goal is to keep score each day BUT, you have until midnight the FOLLOWING day to record your score. That way you can still qualify for the weekly prize and gain an entry for the grand prize. However, you only get points if you score on the same day.
- Score daily, get points AND a prize entry.
- Miss a day and you still get an entry but lose the points for the previous day (Points are variable so you may miss a big one)
Why keeping score is important.
Research shows that daily tracking is one of the best ways to create a new habit, even if you don’t do the behaviour! Obviously you won’t create a new habit if you don’t ever do it, BUT, if you do it most of the time but keep track all of the time, you can still get the results! This has something to do with how we store memories and the brain not distinguishing between actually doing something and just thinking about doing it. Cool huh?
The 5 Habits of Highly Successful Couples
1 – Express Gratitude Daily
At least once per day, tell your partner why you are grateful they are in your life. This is not about “what” they do (That’s the 5th practice A & A) and more about “how” they do what they do and “who they are as a person.”
2 – Share and Celebrate
Once per day find at least one win to celebrate together. It doesn’t matter how small it is. If you have multiple wins, and you have the time, celebrate them all. This activity is perfect for the dinner table or just as you are going to sleep.
3 – Give All your Attention
At least once per day give 100% of your attention to your partner. Take a breath, look at them and make eye contact, be still and really tune into what is being communicated both verbally and non verbally. Don’t do ANYTHING else. This is great to combine with any of the other practices or with nothing at all.
4 – Intentional Hugs
You win this challenge by hugging for at least 30 seconds each day AND intend for your touch to communicate love. The goal however, is to connect physically in any way you want. Caress each other, kiss, massage, or any way people in relationship connect physically. (wink, nudge) The goal here is that you make time each day to connect physically, if only for a moment and have that intention in mind when you do it. There is no “Right Way” and you can’t make a mistake.
5 – Acknowledge and Appreciate
Say thank you and be specific. This is about any of the little actions your partner does that contribute to your life. To win, you MUST be specific. Thanks for everything doesn’t cut it. Thanks for cleaning up the dishes last night… Perfect.
- Books: 50 Points
- The All or Nothing Marriage – by Eli Finkel
- Mindset – By Carol Dweck
- The Compound Effect – by Darren Hardy
- The Power of Habit – by Charles Duhigg
- 2 Movie Tickets: 75 points
- 2 for 1 coupon selection of restaurants: 75 Points
- $25 gift card lingerie 100 Points
- Wine Tasting + bottle of wine (Pacific Breeze) 100 Points
You get a chance to win these prizes by keeping score. (These may change slightly, but only for the better!)
Grand Prize – 2 Nights Hotel with Spa Gift Certificate and Bottle of Sparkling Wine ($600 Value)
- $100 Gift Card to El Santo (or another restaurant of your choice)
- $100 Gift Certificate to Scarlet Lingerie
- A Couples Massage – $175 Value
- 1 Night Hotel Stay – Fairmont YVR ($350-550 Value)